Living a miracle

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last blog.  I know that I have been pretty visible on Facebook with my videos and posts, but felt it was time for an actual update. Let me be clear - chemo SUCKS.  I thought that I would be back to normal by now, and just getting my strength up for surgery in February.  Let's just say it is still kicking my ass.  I am usually REALLY active.  I am not one to sit still for very long, and usually work out at least 3-4 times a week - weights, pilates, spin, cardio etc.  Now, I am usually bagged by about 6 pm, and can barely get through a 30 min ab workout.  This was not what I expected.   I also need to remind myself to take a break, otherwise I feel like shit.  If I do too much I get terrible headaches at night and it takes me a couple of days to feel relatively 'normal' again. I am also dealing with the crazy hormones that go along with breast cancer and its treatments.  I am not on Hormo...

I won't lie to you.  Every moment is not great.  I try to be optimistic, but sometimes is just SUCKS.  Yes, I am thankful that it was caught early.  Yes, I am thankful that I am alive.  Yes, I am thankful that I live in Toronto, with access to some of the best medical care in the world.  Yes, I am thankful that I am married to the best man who takes such great care of me. Yes, I am thankful to be surrounded by family and friends who love us and take care of us. However, I want my life back. I am usually a go go go person.  I am always running off somewhere to do something.  I usually make the meals, go to work, workout, drive the kids to various activities, shop, hang out with friends, have family events and just do my thing.  I  am fiercely independent and I love being spontaneous. These days, I am like a child.  I can't do anything by myself.  For 6 weeks after surgery, I can't lift more than 5 lbs.  I can't carry ...