Living a miracle

This post is not for pity - this is fo solidarity!  I am currently packing 3 kids to go to overnight camp.  I want to just lie down amongst the duffle bags and cry.  It is AWFUL - but still totally worth it!  I am living the drama that is playing out all over my neighbourhood and across the city.  I know that all of us are suffering through the piles of clothes, the shoes, the toiletries and linens that are piled up in various parts of the house.  For first time campers, the piles match the packing list to a T.  As the kids get more savvy, and the parents get more complacent, those piles grow and take on a life of their own.  My son's piles are relatively small and contained.  I joke that he really only needs two outfits, and no socks, but he rolls his eyes at me - he does that a lot now that he's a teenager!  One year, I actually called the camp to tell them he needed to change his clothes as he was in one shirt in EVERY single picture.  I thew it out when he got home and I wr

I won't lie to you.  Every moment is not great.  I try to be optimistic, but sometimes is just SUCKS.  Yes, I am thankful that it was caught early.  Yes, I am thankful that I am alive.  Yes, I am thankful that I live in Toronto, with access to some of the best medical care in the world.  Yes, I am thankful that I am married to the best man who takes such great care of me. Yes, I am thankful to be surrounded by family and friends who love us and take care of us. However, I want my life back. I am usually a go go go person.  I am always running off somewhere to do something.  I usually make the meals, go to work, workout, drive the kids to various activities, shop, hang out with friends, have family events and just do my thing.  I  am fiercely independent and I love being spontaneous. These days, I am like a child.  I can't do anything by myself.  For 6 weeks after surgery, I can't lift more than 5 lbs.  I can't carry my purse, I can't move things around, I can&

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there - especially to my kids' dad and my favourite guy, Kerry.  Also to my incredible Father-In-Law, Stan, who is one of the best men out there.  He loves me like one of his own, and is an incredible father and grandfather.  To my brother-in-laws, Josh, Paul and Mark.  I hope you have a wonderful day with your kids and that at least two of you get something made from macaroni or a hand painted tie!  To my brother, Aryeh, who better NOT be a father yet, but is a great God-Father and uncle.  He loves my kids fiercely, and is one of their favourite playmates.  And to all of my friends who are fathers - enjoy your day! However, there are some of us for which Father's Day takes on a whole other meaning.  We are the Fatherless, or rather, the FatherLOSS.  For some, its been many years, living their entire adult hood without him; for some, like me, almost ten years without hearing his laughter, and feeling his hugs, and for some of you,

Let me recap: I am living a miracle right  now.  I did a genetic test out of the blue in October, after my Father In Law told me about a study at Women’s College.  My grandmother was a BRCA 1 carrier and breast cancer survivor.  I figured with family history, why not.  At the end of November, I got the positive results and began to set up appointments to be screened.  I met with the Breast Specialist at Women’s in February, and had a mammogram and MRI on March 26th.  When I got the results phone call, I was told that it is normal for a first MRI to show something, as there is nothing to compare it to, and that the mammogram was clear.  However, I needed a biopsy.  So, a week later, I went for an ultrasound biopsy.  The following week, we were told that the biopsy was clear, but that my doctor had a gut feeling and wanted to be 100% sure that everything was clear.  She sent me for an MRI biopsy, just to rule everything out.   The following week, we got the devastating, yet optimisti