Wow, it's been awhile
I can't believe it's been over a month since my last blog. I know that I have been pretty visible on Facebook with my videos and posts, but felt it was time for an actual update.
Let me be clear - chemo SUCKS. I thought that I would be back to normal by now, and just getting my strength up for surgery in February. Let's just say it is still kicking my ass. I am usually REALLY active. I am not one to sit still for very long, and usually work out at least 3-4 times a week - weights, pilates, spin, cardio etc. Now, I am usually bagged by about 6 pm, and can barely get through a 30 min ab workout. This was not what I expected. I also need to remind myself to take a break, otherwise I feel like shit. If I do too much I get terrible headaches at night and it takes me a couple of days to feel relatively 'normal' again.
I am also dealing with the crazy hormones that go along with breast cancer and its treatments. I am not on Hormone therapy, as I am hormone negative, but my body is reacting to both the loss of my breast tissue AND the intense chemo I was on. I always thought I understood what a hot flash was going to be like. I always ran hot while pregnant and I figured it would be like that and that I would just take off the sweater or blanket and feel more comfortable. BOY WAS I WRONG! It is like I am on fire from within. I am usually either FREEZING or ON FIRE! I will be sitting shivering with a blanket one minute and then a blazing inferno the next minute! And NOTHING helps! I don't even know what the warning signs, if there are any, are to prepare!
And, back to the hair situation. I am sure that by now, most of you have seen on Facebook that I have basically shaved my head. I have a crew cut (a number 4 on top and a 2 on the back and sides to even it all up)- and it is GREY!!! I kind of hoped it would come in blonde - I mean really - GREY??? FOR REAL??? Haven't I gone through enough?? However, I kind of love the new 'do. I need to remember who I am when I see myself in the mirror, but it is pretty bold and fun! I call it cancer chic.
On the positive side, I have been taking some great cooking classes with my friend Shauna Lindzon (www.shaunalindzon.com), and my family is enjoying the fruits of that labour. I have been loving catching up wth friends and I can't wait to go out to Vancouver to meet my new nephew and have some quality time with Tovah, Josh and the kids. And I especially love being with my kids more. I was even the Pizza Lunch parent in Zahra's class the other day! The first time in my 10 years at that school!
So while the recuperation is slower than expected, I am alive. I am able to laugh, and enjoy good food and see the joy on Zahra's face when she gets to come home for lunch. And when my days are not my best, I try to remember these things and just breath.
Let me be clear - chemo SUCKS. I thought that I would be back to normal by now, and just getting my strength up for surgery in February. Let's just say it is still kicking my ass. I am usually REALLY active. I am not one to sit still for very long, and usually work out at least 3-4 times a week - weights, pilates, spin, cardio etc. Now, I am usually bagged by about 6 pm, and can barely get through a 30 min ab workout. This was not what I expected. I also need to remind myself to take a break, otherwise I feel like shit. If I do too much I get terrible headaches at night and it takes me a couple of days to feel relatively 'normal' again.
I am also dealing with the crazy hormones that go along with breast cancer and its treatments. I am not on Hormone therapy, as I am hormone negative, but my body is reacting to both the loss of my breast tissue AND the intense chemo I was on. I always thought I understood what a hot flash was going to be like. I always ran hot while pregnant and I figured it would be like that and that I would just take off the sweater or blanket and feel more comfortable. BOY WAS I WRONG! It is like I am on fire from within. I am usually either FREEZING or ON FIRE! I will be sitting shivering with a blanket one minute and then a blazing inferno the next minute! And NOTHING helps! I don't even know what the warning signs, if there are any, are to prepare!
And, back to the hair situation. I am sure that by now, most of you have seen on Facebook that I have basically shaved my head. I have a crew cut (a number 4 on top and a 2 on the back and sides to even it all up)- and it is GREY!!! I kind of hoped it would come in blonde - I mean really - GREY??? FOR REAL??? Haven't I gone through enough?? However, I kind of love the new 'do. I need to remember who I am when I see myself in the mirror, but it is pretty bold and fun! I call it cancer chic.
On the positive side, I have been taking some great cooking classes with my friend Shauna Lindzon (www.shaunalindzon.com), and my family is enjoying the fruits of that labour. I have been loving catching up wth friends and I can't wait to go out to Vancouver to meet my new nephew and have some quality time with Tovah, Josh and the kids. And I especially love being with my kids more. I was even the Pizza Lunch parent in Zahra's class the other day! The first time in my 10 years at that school!
So while the recuperation is slower than expected, I am alive. I am able to laugh, and enjoy good food and see the joy on Zahra's face when she gets to come home for lunch. And when my days are not my best, I try to remember these things and just breath.
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