Living a miracle

My Dad would have turned 70 today. We lost him to lung cancer 10 years ago, weeks after he turned 60.   But on that birthday, we celebrated.  We had just had Zahra, and we chose to name her on the Shabbat that was his birthday.  It was perfect.  He was so proud to go to Synagogue, surrounded by all of his loved ones and name that precious little girl.  It was the last time he left the house voluntarily and had to be in a wheelchair (the cancer had progressed rapidly after surgery and he was very weak) but he walked up to the Bima and had his Aalyiah.  His friends did a prayer circle around him and there was not a dry eye in the place.  After, everyone walked back to our house and we had a beautiful party celebrating both the beginning of life and a well lived life being taken too soon. I learned a lot about life from my dad.  My dad loved life, and appreciated the little things.  He was a very opinionated man, and loved a good debate. ...

The fog seems to have lifted from the second round of chemo.  I am very lucky that I have not had any nausea, but the sheer exhaustion and joint pain has been excruciating.  So far, the cold cap seems to be working.  My hair is thinning, but not falling out in clumps.  I will know by the end of the week if it is actually successful.  I was going to name this post Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow? But Kerry didn't think it was funny. This has been a challenging few days.  It seems that the symptoms compound, so it will get worse before it gets better.  I have been lethargic and cranky.  I have  had no energy and my brain is foggy.  The worst part is the lack of taste!  I have a normal appetite, but I cant taste anything!  I need savoury or sweet.  My friend, Dionne, developed these amazing organic freezies called Deebee Pops which I LOVE (http://www.deebeesorganics.com).  I bought them at Pusateries.  They are all natu...

So, one down, three to go! Chemo sucks - no way around it.  But, I know it can always be worse.  The actual process is long and (besides the actual pain of the IV) metaphorically painful.  The first session in LONG - there is a lot of waiting around and then A LOT of people talking to me - the nurses, the pharmacists, and the social worker.  I haven idea what most of them said to me - how could I take in all of that information during such a stressful time???  I am also using whats called a cold cap, in the hopes of saving my hair.  That doubles the time I am in the chair - 45 mins before and 2 hours after - all with a cap of ice on my head (http://www.coldcomfortcanada.ca).  Lets hope it works!  We will know next week. I felt the effects of the chemo almost immediately, as well as the heavy duty anti-nauseau meds.  I was, and continue to be EXHAUSTED.  Luckily, no nausea so far, but some other unexpected (by me, not the doctors) side ...