One Down, Three to Go!

So, one down, three to go! Chemo sucks - no way around it.  But, I know it can always be worse.  The actual process is long and (besides the actual pain of the IV) metaphorically painful.  The first session in LONG - there is a lot of waiting around and then A LOT of people talking to me - the nurses, the pharmacists, and the social worker.  I haven idea what most of them said to me - how could I take in all of that information during such a stressful time???  I am also using whats called a cold cap, in the hopes of saving my hair.  That doubles the time I am in the chair - 45 mins before and 2 hours after - all with a cap of ice on my head (http://www.coldcomfortcanada.ca).  Lets hope it works!  We will know next week.

I felt the effects of the chemo almost immediately, as well as the heavy duty anti-nauseau meds.  I was, and continue to be EXHAUSTED.  Luckily, no nausea so far, but some other unexpected (by me, not the doctors) side effects - I retained about 15 lbs of water in about 3 days after!  I have lost most of it but still feel the effects.  I also turned a bright red (from the dye in the chemo) so I looked like a juicy red tomato!  I felt like Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, must have felt!  Luckily, that also has gone away.  However, I still can't taste food unless it is very salty or sweet.  I also have total chemo brain!  I can't keep a thought in my head for long, I get tongue tied and I have no memory for names and events.  And now, to make matters worse, I am not sleeping well!

I am learning to take it easy. To help with my recuperation, we bought a lounge for the back yard so I have spent hours lying outside.  I am not one to just sit, so I am really trying to learn to relax.  I had a rough day yesterday, so I sat outside all day!  I am learning to accept the help that is offered, and am trying to take care of myself.  It was easier to do that after the surgery, as I had obvious physical limitations.  The current limitations are not as obvious, and seeing as I was feeling SO good while away, it is hard to go back to being the patient.

So, as I sit and reflect on the past week and a half, plus look forward to the next few weeks, I also have to be realistic.  I can't make plans - I have no idea  how I will feel in a few hours, let alone a few days.  I have to shift my mindset so that I can feel guilt free asking for meals or rides or for entertainment for the kids.  But I love hearing from everyone, and  I love the visits, although I am not much of a hostess!
(http://www.coldcomfortcanada.ca)

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