1 year - 20 years - 95 years
So, it has been exactly one year since I was diagnosed. 365 days. The day I was diagnosed, Kerry and I came home, picked up Alesh and went to Zahra's play. Spent an hour or so doing the cast's make up and then sat in stun in the dark audience. Only the adults knew. Coming full circle, we just had Zahra's school play again. She played G-ma and was incredible. And, she wore my wig as part of her costume! I hated wearing it and I am so glad that it was put to good use! She looked great in it and she nailed the role! I couldn't help but be struck by the irony of it.
Tomorrow is also the Jewish anniversary of the day I met Kerry (we met on the day of the first Seder) 20 years ago. It has always struck me as appropriate that I met the man of my dreams on the day of my favourite holiday. Many of you may have just gasped - yes, this is my favourite holiday. I LOVE Passover. I love the food, I love the tradition, and I especially love spending time with my families at the seders. Kerry may not feel the same way as I do about the holiday, but he does love the seders for the same reasons I do. And I am so incredibly lucky (for many other reasons too) to be married to a man who has exactly the same values as I do.
When I was a kid, I went to both seders at my Bubbie Jean's. When she lived in her house, my great-aunties would gather in the basement kitchen and cook, and laugh, and argue! I would sit at the top of the stairs and peak down. NO CHILDREN ALLOWED! I had other duties. My Uncle Dov, Aunty Marsha and I would set the table. I am now a maven at making sure the napkin seams line up with the fork tines, and that the glass and wine glass are in the perfect location. I also made it a tradition to walk over to Sunnybrook Plaza and buy my Bubbie salt and pepper shakers from Goodman's China. Those are some of my very favourite memories. When my Bubbie and Zaidie moved into the condo, the family had another few large seders in the party room, but then were scaled down to 30 or so upstairs. My Bubbie and her older brother Bert had never not had a seder together, and that tradition has carried over to the next generations. The first seder had everyone except Uncle Dov and Aunty Lani and their kids, but had Joey and Corrine and their kids. They switched for the second night! Joey's presence is always missed and I hope that Corrine and the kids will be able to join us one year. The day I met Kerry was the last 1st seder I had at my Bubbies, but I started to created new traditions.
The Salsberg seder was also very large, and full of singing and laughing! Lots of cousins and lots of fun. Uncle Gerry would bellow out Dayanu and Zaida Sam would give a speech about the importance of family and how he loves having everyone together. Once we all started to have kids and the crowd grew, we also had to scale that one back.
When my Bubbie moved from her condo into a retirement residence, the torch was passed to me. Our house has long been the family meeting place. We are down the street from the synagogue, which meant Rosh Hashanna lunch is here too. And, I had the space - and was willing! Bubbie and I joked that the passover dishes was my inheritance. I would be completely dishonest to say that I don't love it. I am honoured to host my family. I may not do everything the way the older generations did, but I am trying to instil a sense of tradition in my children and this makes me so proud. I love the planning, and the setting up. I love finding the treasures in the bins of dishes (I have a furnace room FULL of bins filled with Passover dishes!) and I love sensing the history of my family when I unpack everything. Kerry grumbles along the way, but I know that he loves it too.
A few years ago, my mother-in-law and I were having our annual Passover discussion, about a month before the actual holiday. We decided that the Salsberg seder would move to my house. I was already set up for the 2nd one anyways, and its easier for her. We are a good team - Beverley brings the food, and I do the set up and serving. However, we need to find a way to merge the Salsberg and Faith seders again and get all of the cousins back together!
So, why is Passover so important to me? Well, for instance - yesterday my mom and I made the huge pot of soup together in my Bubbie's old pot. We talked and laughed while doing it. Today, we will make the meatballs together. Last night, my cousin Jillian and I seasoned the GIANT brisket that will be enjoyed on Saturday night (www.koshermeat2u.com). On Friday, Aunty Honey is coming to set the table, and on Saturday, my Aunty Marsha and Naomi will be here to cook and set the table AGAIN! My family all has their assigned roles and dishes to make. We all know what is to happen - seder means order and the Altman/Goodbaum family has it down pat! We know the 'order' of what we are to do.
I also love making the delicious food that has been taught to me over the years. My parents always made Passover delicacies, and I look forward to them each year. I LOVE matzah farfel latkes and can't wait to make - and eat- them! My mom makes these cheese and onion buns that are INCREDIBLE! Oh, and an added bonus of having the seders here is that my fridge is FULL of yummy leftovers! Passover is not easy, but that's the point. However, it doesn't have to be torturous either. Some creative cooking can make for some delicious meals!
There is also some sadness to Passover. I never knew Kerry's Bubbies, but I know that Beverley and Stan miss their presence. We miss Zaidas Art and Sam and Uncle Gerry. At the Altman seder, my Zaidie's beautiful alto voice is always missed. Uncle Bert led the seder with skill that comes from just knowing it since birth. And he would sometimes 'just be resting my eyes'. Aunty Gerry would be filming it to send clips to Susan in Israel, which we still do! I know it's weird, but I sense my Bubbie when I hold her dishes and use her things. She loved the seders. My Uncle Dov should be here cooking with us. His kugels are legendary and his presence is missed beyond words. And my dad. I cant even type about it. His presence is missed every day, but he especially loved Passover and its always really hard for us.
So, to recap - 1 year ago today I was diagnosed with cancer. But a year later, I am cancer free, and getting my life back together! It is not the same, but I am learning to live with the new me. I have some physical and cognitive limitations now (Chemo brain is a real thing!), and need to remember to take a break and relax, as the exhaustion is overwhelming! 20 years ago, I met the perfect man for me. We have built a family based on shared values of Jewish tradition and customs as well as lots of love. And, this year marks the 95th seder that the Goodbaums have had in Canada. While only Uncle Mottle is remaining, the traditions that came across from Poland live on. We sing songs passed down, and eat food that my great grandmother taught my Bubbie who taught her kids who taught me. We use a seder plate that made the trek, or arrived in my Great Bubbies hands shortly after arriving. These are all treasures in my memories. I love everything about this.
So, whatever holiday or tradition you are celebrating this weekend, I hope that you take a moment to stop and reflect. Easy doesn't always mean good, and challenging doesn't always mean bad. Getting my house ready for Passover and all of the work that this holiday entails means that I am keeping traditions and passing them on to my children. Dealing with cancer treatment is not fun or easy, but now I get to host many more family events and celebrations. We don't always get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we react to it. I choose to cherish this time and to enjoy it!
Chag Sameach and Happy Easter!
Tomorrow is also the Jewish anniversary of the day I met Kerry (we met on the day of the first Seder) 20 years ago. It has always struck me as appropriate that I met the man of my dreams on the day of my favourite holiday. Many of you may have just gasped - yes, this is my favourite holiday. I LOVE Passover. I love the food, I love the tradition, and I especially love spending time with my families at the seders. Kerry may not feel the same way as I do about the holiday, but he does love the seders for the same reasons I do. And I am so incredibly lucky (for many other reasons too) to be married to a man who has exactly the same values as I do.
When I was a kid, I went to both seders at my Bubbie Jean's. When she lived in her house, my great-aunties would gather in the basement kitchen and cook, and laugh, and argue! I would sit at the top of the stairs and peak down. NO CHILDREN ALLOWED! I had other duties. My Uncle Dov, Aunty Marsha and I would set the table. I am now a maven at making sure the napkin seams line up with the fork tines, and that the glass and wine glass are in the perfect location. I also made it a tradition to walk over to Sunnybrook Plaza and buy my Bubbie salt and pepper shakers from Goodman's China. Those are some of my very favourite memories. When my Bubbie and Zaidie moved into the condo, the family had another few large seders in the party room, but then were scaled down to 30 or so upstairs. My Bubbie and her older brother Bert had never not had a seder together, and that tradition has carried over to the next generations. The first seder had everyone except Uncle Dov and Aunty Lani and their kids, but had Joey and Corrine and their kids. They switched for the second night! Joey's presence is always missed and I hope that Corrine and the kids will be able to join us one year. The day I met Kerry was the last 1st seder I had at my Bubbies, but I started to created new traditions.
The Salsberg seder was also very large, and full of singing and laughing! Lots of cousins and lots of fun. Uncle Gerry would bellow out Dayanu and Zaida Sam would give a speech about the importance of family and how he loves having everyone together. Once we all started to have kids and the crowd grew, we also had to scale that one back.
When my Bubbie moved from her condo into a retirement residence, the torch was passed to me. Our house has long been the family meeting place. We are down the street from the synagogue, which meant Rosh Hashanna lunch is here too. And, I had the space - and was willing! Bubbie and I joked that the passover dishes was my inheritance. I would be completely dishonest to say that I don't love it. I am honoured to host my family. I may not do everything the way the older generations did, but I am trying to instil a sense of tradition in my children and this makes me so proud. I love the planning, and the setting up. I love finding the treasures in the bins of dishes (I have a furnace room FULL of bins filled with Passover dishes!) and I love sensing the history of my family when I unpack everything. Kerry grumbles along the way, but I know that he loves it too.
A few years ago, my mother-in-law and I were having our annual Passover discussion, about a month before the actual holiday. We decided that the Salsberg seder would move to my house. I was already set up for the 2nd one anyways, and its easier for her. We are a good team - Beverley brings the food, and I do the set up and serving. However, we need to find a way to merge the Salsberg and Faith seders again and get all of the cousins back together!
So, why is Passover so important to me? Well, for instance - yesterday my mom and I made the huge pot of soup together in my Bubbie's old pot. We talked and laughed while doing it. Today, we will make the meatballs together. Last night, my cousin Jillian and I seasoned the GIANT brisket that will be enjoyed on Saturday night (www.koshermeat2u.com). On Friday, Aunty Honey is coming to set the table, and on Saturday, my Aunty Marsha and Naomi will be here to cook and set the table AGAIN! My family all has their assigned roles and dishes to make. We all know what is to happen - seder means order and the Altman/Goodbaum family has it down pat! We know the 'order' of what we are to do.
I also love making the delicious food that has been taught to me over the years. My parents always made Passover delicacies, and I look forward to them each year. I LOVE matzah farfel latkes and can't wait to make - and eat- them! My mom makes these cheese and onion buns that are INCREDIBLE! Oh, and an added bonus of having the seders here is that my fridge is FULL of yummy leftovers! Passover is not easy, but that's the point. However, it doesn't have to be torturous either. Some creative cooking can make for some delicious meals!
There is also some sadness to Passover. I never knew Kerry's Bubbies, but I know that Beverley and Stan miss their presence. We miss Zaidas Art and Sam and Uncle Gerry. At the Altman seder, my Zaidie's beautiful alto voice is always missed. Uncle Bert led the seder with skill that comes from just knowing it since birth. And he would sometimes 'just be resting my eyes'. Aunty Gerry would be filming it to send clips to Susan in Israel, which we still do! I know it's weird, but I sense my Bubbie when I hold her dishes and use her things. She loved the seders. My Uncle Dov should be here cooking with us. His kugels are legendary and his presence is missed beyond words. And my dad. I cant even type about it. His presence is missed every day, but he especially loved Passover and its always really hard for us.
So, to recap - 1 year ago today I was diagnosed with cancer. But a year later, I am cancer free, and getting my life back together! It is not the same, but I am learning to live with the new me. I have some physical and cognitive limitations now (Chemo brain is a real thing!), and need to remember to take a break and relax, as the exhaustion is overwhelming! 20 years ago, I met the perfect man for me. We have built a family based on shared values of Jewish tradition and customs as well as lots of love. And, this year marks the 95th seder that the Goodbaums have had in Canada. While only Uncle Mottle is remaining, the traditions that came across from Poland live on. We sing songs passed down, and eat food that my great grandmother taught my Bubbie who taught her kids who taught me. We use a seder plate that made the trek, or arrived in my Great Bubbies hands shortly after arriving. These are all treasures in my memories. I love everything about this.
So, whatever holiday or tradition you are celebrating this weekend, I hope that you take a moment to stop and reflect. Easy doesn't always mean good, and challenging doesn't always mean bad. Getting my house ready for Passover and all of the work that this holiday entails means that I am keeping traditions and passing them on to my children. Dealing with cancer treatment is not fun or easy, but now I get to host many more family events and celebrations. We don't always get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we react to it. I choose to cherish this time and to enjoy it!
Chag Sameach and Happy Easter!
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