Living a miracle

Hello all,  I know its been a few weeks.  I think every cancer patient should get 3 weeks in Europe to recoup.  It did me wonders.  We cruised the Mediterranean with the kids and Kerry's family to celebrate my in-laws 50th.  It was perfect!  The kids had the time of their lives and it was truly the best family vacation we have ever had.  My in-laws were thrilled!  Then the kids flew home and Kerry and I continued on for 2 more glorious weeks!  I loved every second of the trip, and savoured every moment.  And BOY did we have moments!  Every day was a different adventure, and I absolutely LOVE travelling with my husband!  I think we fall deeper in love on each trip! But now back to reality.  The past two weeks have been filled with doctors and tests.  We met with my oncologist, Ellen Warner, last week, and chemo was the plan.  She told me that she wanted me on a 6 month course,  but then called me back two...

 I can’t believe it’s only been 6 weeks. The first two weeks sucked. I won’t lie. I basically spent my days in bed and on the couch. Oh, and I finalized Zevs Bar Mitzvah. How the F did I do that???  Wait - then we HAD Zev’s Bar Mitzvah!!!!  WTF?!?!?  Then, it was packing the 3 kids to camp AND the cruise plus Kerry and I for 2 more weeks in Europe. Say What?????  So here we are. We spent a glorious week on the Symphony of the Seas where we saw our kids get a taste for Europe, try new foods and enjoy every second of the biggest cruise ship in the world while celebrating my in-laws 50th Anniversary. Zev told me he wishes we never sent him to camp because he loves travelling almost as much!  On Sunday, the kids headed home for camp and we headed west to Basque Country. Go there.  We are now driving north towards Bordeaux and came across the most incredible spot.  So here I am: 6 weeks post double mastectomy with reconstruction and I just climb...

This post is not for pity - this is fo solidarity!  I am currently packing 3 kids to go to overnight camp.  I want to just lie down amongst the duffle bags and cry.  It is AWFUL - but still totally worth it!  I am living the drama that is playing out all over my neighbourhood and across the city.  I know that all of us are suffering through the piles of clothes, the shoes, the toiletries and linens that are piled up in various parts of the house.  For first time campers, the piles match the packing list to a T.  As the kids get more savvy, and the parents get more complacent, those piles grow and take on a life of their own.  My son's piles are relatively small and contained.  I joke that he really only needs two outfits, and no socks, but he rolls his eyes at me - he does that a lot now that he's a teenager!  One year, I actually called the camp to tell them he needed to change his clothes as he was in one shirt in EVERY single picture....

I won't lie to you.  Every moment is not great.  I try to be optimistic, but sometimes is just SUCKS.  Yes, I am thankful that it was caught early.  Yes, I am thankful that I am alive.  Yes, I am thankful that I live in Toronto, with access to some of the best medical care in the world.  Yes, I am thankful that I am married to the best man who takes such great care of me. Yes, I am thankful to be surrounded by family and friends who love us and take care of us. However, I want my life back. I am usually a go go go person.  I am always running off somewhere to do something.  I usually make the meals, go to work, workout, drive the kids to various activities, shop, hang out with friends, have family events and just do my thing.  I  am fiercely independent and I love being spontaneous. These days, I am like a child.  I can't do anything by myself.  For 6 weeks after surgery, I can't lift more than 5 lbs.  I can't carry ...

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there - especially to my kids' dad and my favourite guy, Kerry.  Also to my incredible Father-In-Law, Stan, who is one of the best men out there.  He loves me like one of his own, and is an incredible father and grandfather.  To my brother-in-laws, Josh, Paul and Mark.  I hope you have a wonderful day with your kids and that at least two of you get something made from macaroni or a hand painted tie!  To my brother, Aryeh, who better NOT be a father yet, but is a great God-Father and uncle.  He loves my kids fiercely, and is one of their favourite playmates.  And to all of my friends who are fathers - enjoy your day! However, there are some of us for which Father's Day takes on a whole other meaning.  We are the Fatherless, or rather, the FatherLOSS.  For some, its been many years, living their entire adult hood without him; for some, like me, almost ten years without hearing his laughter, and feelin...

Let me recap: I am living a miracle right  now.  I did a genetic test out of the blue in October, after my Father In Law told me about a study at Women’s College.  My grandmother was a BRCA 1 carrier and breast cancer survivor.  I figured with family history, why not.  At the end of November, I got the positive results and began to set up appointments to be screened.  I met with the Breast Specialist at Women’s in February, and had a mammogram and MRI on March 26th.  When I got the results phone call, I was told that it is normal for a first MRI to show something, as there is nothing to compare it to, and that the mammogram was clear.  However, I needed a biopsy.  So, a week later, I went for an ultrasound biopsy.  The following week, we were told that the biopsy was clear, but that my doctor had a gut feeling and wanted to be 100% sure that everything was clear.  She sent me for an MRI biopsy, just to rule everything out....